Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Semen is not good for contacts.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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