Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
