tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
