Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
