There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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