Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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