i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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