How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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