So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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