Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Slut skills are useful in every country.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
