TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
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