Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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