My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
and you fell through a lawn chair
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
