he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
