It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
