After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
