His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
