I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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