i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
