I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
