I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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