Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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