this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
