Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
