my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
