the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
