so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
