I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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