i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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