It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize