# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I think I just shit out all my problems.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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