That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
