you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
