ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
