i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
