OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
