Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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