I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
