His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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