I hate all girls vehemently.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
