so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
