Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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