Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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