Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
