The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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