She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
