Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize