you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
