idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i can't believe i had my finger in that
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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