If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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