you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
