I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
