well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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