Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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