it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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