I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
