I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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