I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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