I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
