He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize