shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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