If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
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