why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
