let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
