Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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