I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
