I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
