Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
