I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
