Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize