Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
